Sometimes it takes detaching and letting go, to find what you’re actually looking for.
A couple of weeks ago, Josh and I went out to buy a new blazer, for me to wear during a speaking engagement that I had that weekend. I had the honor of speaking at the University of Redlands. I went to the University of Redlands for my Master’s Degree. It was also at UofR that I had my first experience working in Career Services. I spoke about utilizing *LinkedIn in the job search.
When we went to the mall, I was wearing a scarf and my jacket because it has been super cold here in SoCal (okay- so I’m talking like 40’s and 50’s so not REALLY cold ;) ) AND I had on my favorite earrings that Josh bought me when we were on our honeymoon back in 2017. We got to the store where I found the first pink blazer to try on, I took off my layers, so I could try the jacket on, my finger grazed my ear and I was like, “OMG my earring is missing!” We retraced our steps back to the car (!) and saw nothing on the ground. I was SUPER bummed. Like, I cried a little.
We continued our shopping but my heart just wasn’t in it. We went to dinner (had the impossible (vegan) burger at this restaurant OMG SO GOOD!!!) I almost had a beer and then I thought, “What good would numbing the pain do in this situation? Drinking won’t bring back my earring but it will make me feel really shitty tomorrow.” So I passed, which wouldn’t have happened a year ago. Side Note: I’ve been playing with sobriety and will likely share my story on here soon. Super vulnerable but I think super important to share.
The whole rest of the time we were out I was trying to be detached from the situation. I was reading (have since finished) A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Within this book, he talks about presence, he talks about detaching from items and that items and things don’t define you as a human. You are your awareness. You are consciousness. You are not your thoughts, you are not your things, you are the space between your thoughts and you would be those things without your things. This was what I was trying to embody when my earring went missing.
I detached from the earring, remembering that the earring doesn’t define me. The earring doesn’t make me who I am. The earring is a thing. A thing, that to me, had a lot of sentimental value (which, I think as humans makes it harder to detach from) and I still had one earring in my possession that we could easily turn into a necklace and repurpose. I was making peace with this thought.
I’m totally good with it. Josh and I talked about it on our way home and he even went out in the dark looking for it around our condo complex because before we went out to the mall, we took the dogs on a bathroom break, so the earring could have fallen out in the grass when we were out with the girls. He didn’t find it even though he looked for a GOOD 10 minutes. We went to bed. I’m honestly surprised I was able to sleep well given my emotional state. I’ve also been practicing feeling my feelings and being unapologetic about feeling them because it is only human to feel the way that we feel.
The next morning, we woke up and while I was getting ready for my speaking engagement, Josh took the dogs out to go to the bathroom. When he came back he shows me two earrings. I was like, “OMG YOU FOUND IT!” He said, “Yes, it was right in the middle of the door mat, right outside our front door (!) and I swear that I looked there last night and I swear that it wasn’t there but it was there this morning.”
I had totally detached from the idea that I would ever see that earring again. I was able to get to the headspace that I would make the other earring into a necklace and wear it still. I didn’t think it was possible to find the other earring. I showed gratitude for the joy that it brought me and then I let it go and it showed back up! It is crazy how the universe works.
Similar situations - as far as trusting, letting go and then finding something is concerned - for me in the job search. When I’ve been in a place of desperation, just wanting a job, nothing comes up, not even an interview. When I’ve wanted a job, being content in my current role, let it go, that’s been the exact moment that an email shows up in my inbox from the hiring manager looking to set up an interview.
Have you ever had this happen? Have you ever had something that you loved disappear and then reappear as soon as you totally let go of the hold that it had on you? Or maybe it happened in your job search when you were desperate and constantly thinking about a job and when you finally let go of the outcome, the hiring manager calls? I’d love to hear your stories! Comment on this blog post of DM me on instagram @missymscott.
*If you’re interested in the LinkedIn Checklist that I created for my speaking engagement, just fill out the form below and join my insider tips and you’ll get the worksheet directly to your inbox!