Since going off the grid at the beginning of May, I wanted to share updates about what’s up in the life of someone who isn’t taking part on Social Media. The only thing I’m passively doing is posting these blogs on Pinterest.
To be honest, I’ve been feeling in a rut since the weekend. Some shit went down at our house. We had an angry note on our door about our dogs and it just really got me down. I realized that normally in those moments, instead of dealing with those feelings and moving through the struggle, I would have just scrolled through my phone trying to find something that would soothe me more than re-reading this angry person’s note. I would have told my Hubs, let’s go to the store and buy some beer or sparkling wine to get over this garbage and then we would have talked shit on these people for an hour or two until we finished all the booze we bought to then feel like shit ourselves for the next 24 hours.
I’ve historically, not been very good about letting shit go. Someone could say something negative to me and I will take it personally and just think about the phrase that they said or the tone that they said it in and just go through the thoughts over and over and over.
I was going into that spiral over the weekend and my Hubs said to go do my breathwork meditation. It was a new meditation that day and I was really excited to get into it. It was SO SO intense. The breathwork that we do during these sessions is so intense. Before starting this, I have never had emotional releases in a yoga, meditation or any other mindfulness workshop that I’ve ever been part of.
Get ready for the woo coming out rn.
I did my meditation and I released. We were focusing on our wombs and fertility whether it was birthing a project, book, biz or an actual human baby, thinking about what we hold on to within that Chakra of our bodies. I’m really excited to learn more about the Chakras within the upcoming weeks during a class that I’m taking.
I was crying - hysterically.
I was in pain - physical pain in my torso and I was screaming to get that shit out.
So much pain.
So much resistance.
She instructed us to get back to our normal breath and I was still crying. This breathwork gets me totally out of my body and into another realm of possibility. It was like I was out of my body looking in. I haven’t had this much of a release from breathwork in a really long time and I know it is because of the note that I received and that I’m off social media, not drinking and I have no where to hide from myself.
There’s no where to go but inside myself to really be and let be in myself.
Big realizations are on the cusp of my consciousness. I’m connecting deepening to myself. I have another blog in the works about reconnecting to your real self (will be LIVE 5/10/19).
Other ways that I’m coping with no Social Media
I’ve found myself habitually reaching for my phone - for no reason. These would have been times where I would have scrolled through Instagram and just looked at pictures and liked them without even reading the caption. I have been literally turn my phone on and off. Sometimes, so quickly, that I wouldn’t even see what time it was. Then, I’d have to look at it again to really consciously look at the time.
I feel a little bit of FOMO. I find myself wondering about what people are doing on Instagram. What’s going on in their lives. I wonder if they’re wondering what I’m doing. My colleagues even asked me if I was going to go back on Instagram during my vacation to post pictures and I said no. We then set up a WhatsApp group for me to share pictures of the vacation and for them to show pictures of anything happening at work.
When I journal in the morning, I find myself looking for my phone to take a picture of the angel card that I received today. I find myself taking more pictures for fun rather than taking a picture for the sole purpose of sharing on social media. It feels more organic, less showy.
There’s more peace internally. I feel more alive and present when we’re watching TV or talking to other people in general. I’ve been practicing leaving my phone at my desk or face down when we’re at lunch together with colleagues so that I’m not feeling the need to check my phone compulsively. There’s nothing there, on that little screen, that is more important than my real life.
I’ve been checking my email so often like I’m going to miss something. Email was something that I usually check only once or twice a day and yesterday I noticed that I was on it constantly. No one is emailing me. I have a few subscriptions that I don’t look at or read on a daily basis and I have some that I do read that I normally put off.
As a Career Development Professional, I’m constantly on LinkedIn. I’ve been on LinkedIn, reading articles, watching the videos and really immersing myself in that as well. I know that this is a procrastination tactic that I use as well.
I found myself yesterday, half reading an article and skipping to the bottom before I finished reading it.
I thought, “Missy, what’s happening. Why aren’t you just reading this article? It is only going to take you a few minutes and you have those minutes to spare. Read the damn article.”
Then I scrolled back up to where I stopped reading and I started back up again to finish the article.
The beach, last weekend was really helpful. I had some great realizations and insights into my life on what I actually like vs what I’ve been told that I like. I’m writing a whole blog about this later this week. When we were at the beach, I had lunch by myself when Josh was taking photos and I was just noticing everyone on their phones. There might have been legit reasons as to why these people were on their phones but some of them, I’m sure, were just wasting time, not living their life by scrolling through their social media.
I think this is turning out to be a really insightful exercise. I’m already learning so much about addictive behavior and how we, as modern humans, can be so connected to each other but so disconnected with everything else.
I want to fully be present for this beautiful life of mine. I don’t want to be a robot or Zombie that is just taking it day by day. I want to LIVE and LOVE every minute of it by being fully present.
How are you being more present this week? Write a comment below! Let’s share some best practices.